All of Me Read online

  My phone wasn’t broken and switched on straight away. Six missed calls from Ashley. I didn’t call her back for fear of provoking Chester. It didn’t take much with him. The silence in the room made me aware that the TV had been silenced. Glancing up slowly, Chester stared back at me, the anger he had displayed now gone.

  “So how do you know Jared?”

  Really? He wanted to chat after everything. But if he was calm until Ashley got here that was all that mattered.

  “We grew up in foster care together,” I managed to say, with only a slight tremor in my voice.

  He sat back scratching his face with the remote, one I would never use again. “Yeah, he mentioned that. So, you the girl that got beaten on?” My face was now burning. I didn’t want to tell him anything about me, most certainly not about my past. The fact that Jared had shared this with him made me understand they were very close. But I felt betrayed that he shared something so personal with someone like Chester. I wanted to answer just to keep things flowing, but my tongue felt heavy in my mouth, so I just nodded.

  He snorted and sat back flicking through the stations, but not turning up the volume.

  “Jared’s doing well here, you know…” The look he gave me caused a shiver to chase up the back of my legs. He waved his hand in my direction. “We don’t need white girls comin’ in, stirring up shit.”

  I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat as I glanced at the distorted glass on the front door. I was just waiting for the light of a car to reflect off it, or a shadow to appear.

  Come on, Ashley.

  I backed further into the wall as Chester got up, yanking up his jeans as he walked towards me.

  “Why you actin’ like a little mouse?” I almost couldn’t hear his words over the roar of blood in my ears.

  This isn’t happening.

  Chester was in front of me, one arm leaning against the wall only a few inches from my face. “I don’t like you.” His eyes roamed my face, and I held my breath until black spots appeared in front of my eyes. The noise of keys in the door had me almost falling to the ground in relief. Ashley burst in, along with the smell of alcohol and perfume.

  “What are you ...” She trailed off as her glance turned from Chester to me. “Are you okay?” Her hand went to her hip. “Did you touch her?” I blinked as all the sound came rushing back to me.

  Chester looked me up and down again like I was nothing, and the tip of my ears burned.

  Tutting, he didn’t answer Ashley. I moved, grabbing my bag off the counter.

  “I’ll leave you to it.” I couldn’t bear being in the room with him for one more moment. I was out the door, not stopping as Ashley followed me. The night carried with it a soft spray of rain. The type that soaked you without you knowing.

  “Layla, wait.” I didn’t stop but got my keys out of my bag. It gave Ashley the chance to catch up with me.

  “What did he do?” It was the fear in her voice that made me pause. Turning to her, I had so much I wanted to say. Like, how did she for one second allow him near her? She seemed so nice and put together.

  “He didn’t touch me if that’s what you are asking.” Her white dress was getting wet now, making it partially see through. “Will you be okay with him?” I had to ask because as much as I wanted to run, looking at Ashley in her see-through dress, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of her being alone with him.

  “I can handle Chester.” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about this,” she said.

  “I better go.” I opened the car door and jumped in. I didn’t leave until Ashley was back in her trailer.

  The whole drive home I told myself it was okay to cry, but no tears came.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  I woke to my alarm ringing and a headache. Flailing my hand towards it, hoping to hit it and turn it off didn’t help; it continued to ring. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my alarm, but a call. Wiping the sleep out of my eyes, I answered it.

  “You’re a hard woman to track down.” I sat up straight in the bed. Wide awake.

  “Jared. Hi.”

  He laughed, and my stomach quivered. “I texted you last night, and when I got no reply, I started to worry.”

  “Sorry, I had an early night.” I took the phone away from my face to see I had several messages.

  “Yeah, I was chatting with Kieran, and he told me you were babysitting for Ashley.” I stilled at that, the whole night coming back.

  “You there?” Jared asked, and I tried to shake off the night before.

  “Yeah sorry. I didn’t know you knew Kieran.”

  Jared laughed again. “I didn’t know you did.”

  That was fair enough. But I didn’t want to get into this conversation. “So… is everything okay?” I asked pushing off the duvet, I was heating up.

  “There’s a party tonight, and I wanted to see if you wanted to go.” Jared sounded unsure. I didn’t understand why.

  “I’m not really into parties,” I said, getting out of bed now and pulling back the curtains. The sun beamed into the window, and I pulled them closed. I needed to get some painkillers.

  “Come on Layla, it’ll be fun.”

  “Let me think about it,” I said, needing the painkillers a little more now that I had been standing.

  “Can I text you later?” I asked.

  “Sure.” Was that disappointment I heard in his voice?

  “Cool. Talk to you then.” I hung up and went downstairs. I checked out the house to discover I was home alone. That often happened if Evelyn got called into the hospital late. She would stay the night with the child who had been brought in.

  She had done that with me when I was taken to the hospital. Memories of when we met flooded my mind. I hadn’t spoken to her then. I can still remember when she walked into the room. I hadn’t spoken one word in nine days. She had merely sat down on a chair, took out a magazine, and started reading. Everyone else had said hi and tried to talk to me to get me talking. Not Evelyn. I sat patiently for fifteen minutes as she flicked through her glossy magazine. Finally, she looked at me with a smile. When I glanced away, she started rummaging in her bag. Curiosity had gotten the better of me, and I watched as she took out a pack of Oreo’s. Stuffing one into her mouth, she ate two more before offering me one. I don’t know why, but I took one from her. As I prayed she would offer me another one, she ate the rest of the pack and crumbled up the package. I felt disappointed. To my surprise, she got up and stuffed the magazine in her bag. I was tempted to call the nurse and say someone had just hung out in my room, read a magazine, ate all the Oreos and left. But I didn’t speak as they changed my drip and refilled my water. Instead, I stared at the ceiling wondering where Jared was.

  Evelyn returned to my room at lunchtime, with a breakfast roll that made my mouth water. She started to eat it. I wasn’t sure what was going on, then she paused and took a second roll covered in tinfoil from her backpack and handed it to me. I took it. I discovered food was my weakness. When my belly was full of real food, I lay back.

  “Thank you.” My voice sounded strange after not using it in such a long time.

  “You are welcome. I’m Evelyn.”

  She reached out her hand, and I took it. “Layla.”

  She smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling.

  “I’m a counselor.” That surprised me, I wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but she didn’t look like a counselor. All the rest had been persistent and just snotty. Like they had to fix something because it was broken and check it off their list.

  With Evelyn, there was a kindness, which made me want to talk to her.

  “Is there anything I can do for you?” Evelyn tidied up the papers from our rolls as she spoke.

  “Yes, there is.” She stopped what she was doing and turned to me. Her face looked serious as she waited.

  “Jared… Jared was in the house with me. I want to know if he's safe.” She nodded. “Do you know his last name?”

  I looked
away. “No. None of us do. It’s just Jared.” She paused, and I wondered if she was going to say no.

  “Okay. I’ll try to find out.” Her words gave me hope and had me sitting up a bit straighter.

  “When?” I didn’t want to be pushy, but I needed to know he was safe.

  “I’ll go now.” She spoke with a softness that matched her soft smile.

  “Thank you, Evelyn.”

  Her smile widened. “You’re welcome, Layla.”

  She had tried to find out what happened, but no one knew. That night she had stayed with me while I cried myself to sleep.

  Getting the first aid kit out of the medicine cabinet, I took two painkillers with a large glass of water before going back to bed. But of course, I couldn’t sleep.

  Bzzz. Another text message.

  I’m sorry about last night

  A message from Ashley. I chewed on my lip, thinking about what to write back. It wasn’t her fault about Chester. But I still hated that she didn’t tell me that he was the father of Nicco. Would I have babysat if I had known?

  I groaned before texting her back.

  It’s cool. It’s not your fault. Hope you and Nicco are okay.

  I looked at the other messages; all three were from Jared.

  How are you? I was wondering if you wanted to come to a party tomorrow night. Let me know.

  The second.

  I texted a while ago. Getting a little worried, just let me know you’re okay. We can chat about the party later.

  The final one.

  So, you’re working as a babysitter now? At least I know you’re safe. Text me when you can.

  Safe.

  I had been the furthest thing from safe last night. I lay in bed for a while. My mind kept wandering to Jared no matter how much I tried to pull it away. He was safe. I smiled now, really letting it sink in. He wasn’t just safe, he looked happy. He had a father and friends. The smile slipped when I thought of his girlfriend, Alex. Would she be there tonight?

  Should I go? He was my friend after all. I grabbed my phone off my nightstand and opened up the last message from Jared, staring at it longer than was normal. I closed the phone before flopping back on the bed.

  “Everything alright?”

  I bounced back up as quickly as I had flopped down. “I didn’t know you were home.” I clutched my heart as Carl opened my curtains with amusement on his face.

  “Came home last night. I found a note from Evelyn saying you were babysitting.” Carl faced me now.

  “Yeah, my manager at work.” I sounded calm; I wasn’t on the inside-- my heart pounded.

  “Have fun?” he asked, stepping away from me.

  “Oh yeah, loads,” I said, and he smiled again as I turned to face him now. He stood at the door one hand on the door.

  “Who called you this morning?”

  Heat scorched my cheeks. He had been listening. I went over the conversation in my head. Nothing bad was said so why the hell was I burning up?

  “It was Jared. He was inviting me to a party.” Carl seemed stiff, his hand tightened on the door.

  “That was nice of him.” I could hear the forced calm that he put into his voice.

  “Yeah, it was.” I started to make my bed, just to give myself something to do and hoping that it ended this conversation. When I looked up, Carl was still watching me and had some internal battle going on behind his eyes.

  “You should go.” I stilled at his words, then slowly turned towards him.

  “You think?” I asked, narrowing my eyes slightly at him, wondering where he was going with this. He gave a quick laugh.

  “Yes, I do. And don’t look so suspicious. You deserve it.” My cheeks heated, and I nodded.

  “Thanks, Carl,” I said. His words meant so much to me. He nodded back before gently tapping the door before leaving.

  I got dressed in my gardening clothes. It was something that I loved to do. My army green long sleeved top fit me snugly, and I dragged my overalls over my legs before getting into my old tattered pumps.

  Piling my hair on top of my head, I grabbed a cereal bar, my knee pads, and the key to the shed.

  The air made a gentle breeze that caressed my skin as I stepped outside into the heat. It was going to be a hot day. I ate the cereal bar as I dropped my knee pads beside the line of shrubs I had been working on. Carl and Evelyn were so great letting me dig up and plant their garden. They told me that it saved them from hiring a landscaper. Their compliment meant a lot to me.

  I thought back to when I first started gardening. I wasn’t good at anything, really, or at least, I didn’t think so. One day I decided to tackle the overgrown and unloved garden, and they seemed genuinely amazed at how much I had done. It was my way of giving something back to them.

  After removing rocks and mowing it, I had a far better idea of what area I had to work with. Carl and Evelyn said I should plant some shrubs. I had never planted a flower in my life, so that had been a first. The idea of giving life to something made me excited.

  I know that sounds silly, but I had spent so much of my life watching things being caged and suppressed that watching plants grow and blossom gave me hope.

  The garden was a square; there was a large, brick, back wall that was six feet high and had wooden fencing on either side.

  It was clean and easy to work on. I had spent the next few days drawing out a plan of what I was going to do.

  Carl had to help me with the concrete circle I wanted. In the middle of it, he cut out a circle, and he laid it for me. He did a great job. Being an engineer helped with the measurements. Along the left side of the garden, we had built up flower beds with large beams that were being disposed of from the local train tracks that were being renovated. Once stained and set they looked great. I had painted the back wall snow white while staining the fences with the same brown as the beams. Now I was starting to plant.

  Grabbing my gloves and trowel, I picked up the lavender plants that I was going to place in the center of the slabbed area. The smell was intoxicating, and I inhaled the scent. They were still small green plants but when they grew they would bloom with lavender colored flowers. The image that came with them looked great.

  How many people my age found peace in gardening? Morgan’s idea of peace was shopping or going to parties, to me it was torture. My back was to the sliding door as I planted; the swish sound of it opening had me sitting back on my knees while wiping the sweat off my forehead that had gathered. Wearing heavy overalls in the heat we were experiencing was crazy, but I felt comfortable, and they were my gardening clothes. I shielded my eyes as I turned to Carl. I hoped he liked what I had done.

  I looked in the general direction of the door and blinked, not sure if what I was seeing was a mirage. Brown eyes, broad cheekbones and a mouth that was partially open, watched me.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  I swallowed as my thoughts took a dive in a direction they had no right to go. His lips looked – kissable.

  How inappropriate.

  “You’re a sight, Layla.” Jared’s words carried a heaviness that had me swallowing. I brushed some falling strands away from my face and got ready to get up.

  “Don’t. Stay where you are.” Jared was with me in six large strides, before kneeling down. His red t-shirt clung to every defined crevice of his body. I swallowed again, focusing on his jeans.

  What was wrong with me? I had no right to look at him like that. He had a girlfriend.

  I looked at him under my eyelashes, and my face heated up. He was watching me.

  “What are you doing here?” I finally asked. I glanced at the door again only to find Carl watching us. He gave me a quick wave that I returned before he closed the door. Jared had been looking at Carl too.

  Carl didn’t look angry, after all, he had said he wanted to meet Jared and he did encourage me to go to the party. But I wasn’t sure what I saw on his face. A part of me was happy that Evelyn wasn’t here. This felt all too much.

 
; “He’s a really nice man,” Jared said, still watching me. His brows furrowed as he reached for me. I froze as he moved a piece of hair from my cheek with a tentative smile, before placing it behind my ear. The small bit of contact caused my breath to hitch.

  “Yeah, he’s the best,” I managed to say. “Jared, what are you doing here?” He looked away now, and I feared I had hurt him with my words.

  “I heard about what happened with Chester.” Jared’s gaze was heavy, his brown eyes darkened as he searched my face.

  That’s why he was here. Why I was disappointed, I wasn’t sure. I dug the trowel into the clay beside my thigh.

  “Yeah. Look, it's fine.”

  His tanned hand grabbed my free hand, even though it was gloved, and my gaze flickered to him. His stare was unrelenting now, and my breath stalled briefly.

  “It’s not fine. He will never speak to you like that again.” My throat burned, and I dropped my gaze, only for him to pull me towards him. I reached out, gripping his forearm to stop myself from falling completely into him. His grin had my heart stuttering in my ribcage.

  His head dipped, and a vice tightened around my chest. His grin grew, and his brown eyes were now flecked with gold. It was like he knew the effect he was having on me. My lips parted as my heart accelerated into top gear.

  Oh God, he was going to kiss me.

  I needed to stop this. When his forehead touched mine, I looked into his eyes; the intensity I saw shocked me and his grin was no longer in sight.

  “He’s my best friend. But I know he can be a dick at times.”

  My brain seemed to short-circuit. What? He was talking about Chester, again.

  I leaned back.

  “He’s scary,” I finally said, removing my gloves from my overheated hands.

  “Did he touch you?”

  The stare with which he pinned me held anger that had me immediately shaking my head.

  “No, he didn’t,” I said the lie easily, knowing I would never put myself in that predicament again. I wiped my forehead with the sleeve of my top. It felt like the temperature had jumped up several degrees.