All of Me Read online

  “Nice,” I said, and Ashley grinned flashing white teeth. “It gets you away from the noise. Trust me, it will become a haven for you.”

  I nodded, not sure what to say. Being around people wasn’t something I did often unless you included Morgan, the girl who lived across the street from me. She was a few years older, and she liked partying and guys, I didn’t. But we sometimes chatted, when Carl or Evelyn mentioned me going out with friends. To please them, I would go out with Morgan.

  “By the way, I’m Ashley,” she pulled at her name tag as she spoke, before leaving the room. I followed her out to the supermarket floor where I spent the next few hours learning how to stock shelves and sweep a floor. It wasn’t until after a light lunch that I got to use the register. It was a simple basic till that I picked up quickly.

  “So, are you good if I take five?”

  My eyes widened with surprise at being left on my own so soon, but I welcomed the responsibility and nodded. “Yeah sure, I’m good.”

  Ashley rolled her shoulders before heading out back. I looked around the empty store waiting for my first customer. After standing still behind the desk for a moment, I decided to make myself busy by fixing the shelves that no one had touched. I was in the third aisle when the bell rang. My pulse picked up as I made my way to the desk, ready with a smile on my face and a welcome on my lips.

  The scent of cigarettes surrounded the group that entered. All of them had strong, similar features to Ashley’s. My steps faltered with the way the girl looked at me. My pulse spiked, but I said, “Can I help you with anything?” I finished with a small smile, trying to cover my nerves.

  One of the guys who wore jeans that hung way too low and a t-shirt that would house a few boys his size grinned at me. His eyes traveled from my flat black shoes, up my black slacks and on to the red shirt that I had to wear, his eyes darting to my name tag.

  “Layla.” He said with a wide grin that had my face blazing. “You can help me with a few things.” The suggestive remark had his friend laughing while bumping into him.

  “Man, you hittin’ on whitey.” His remark had the heat crawling along my chest; I could feel each nerve zing. The girl now joined in their laughter. She was beautiful, both the boys were too. I wanted to spin and run out of the store. I forced a smile that had the girl narrowing her eyes at me again. “If you need my assistance with anything in the store, let me know.” I felt proud of myself as I sidestepped them. I had white knuckles and a hammering heart, but I hadn’t run, and that was the main thing.

  Ashley walked up behind them. “Lucas, you dumb…” Ashley gave me a quick look before glancing back at the trio. The one who had spoken to me was Lucas.

  “What are you doing in here?” Her hands went to her hips, and she looked fierce. I wanted to be like her when I grew up.

  “Don’t be like that, hermana,” Lucas said.

  Ashley tutted at his words. “Does madre know you’re here, Bobo?” The other boy snickered.

  “She call you fool!”

  “You are a Bobo too, Sam,” Ashley said, and his smile fell. I forced myself not to laugh. Ashley was really putting them in their place. The girl hadn’t spoken but stood there as if she were bored. Her eyes would dart to me every once in a while, and I held her stare until she looked away.

  “We only came for smokes, Ashley, relax.” The girl walked away from the trio and towards me, all hips and attitude. Red, vibrant lipstick painted her full lips that rose now into a smile. She was stunning, like Ashley.

  “20 Marlboro lights, whitey,” the insult was said with a grin. The insult didn’t bother me, but her hostility did. My face burned again.

  “Alex don’t make me ban you.” Ashley moved away from Lucas and Sam who split and went outside but not before calling goodbye to Ashley and blowing her kisses, ones she didn’t respond too.

  I got the cigarettes and passed them to Alex. Her long nails were painted the same deep red color as her lipstick, and they encased the box.

  “I’ll finish this, Layla, you can sweep down the aisles," I didn’t hesitate, but walked away from the till.

  “I hate that name,” I heard Alex say as I stepped into the back where the cleaning equipment was kept.

  My face, neck, and ears still felt hot as I swept the last aisle. The situation kept going around in my head, on a loop that I couldn’t stop. I felt all kinds of stupid right now.

  Why hadn’t I said something?

  I hated that after it was over, I could think of something to say, but at that moment I froze. How many times had I frozen in the past? When Bert was screaming a question at me, and I froze, not responding was the worst thing to do, but I always froze.

  I was such an idiot.

  “Are you okay Layla?”

  My head snapped up at Ashley’s voice, and I forced a smile. “Yeah, fine. Why?”

  Ashley looked away from me briefly, then her nose scrunched up as she spoke. “Just you’ve been sweeping the same spot for the last few minutes.”

  The heat came again, fast and hard. My face blazed.

  “Look, I know Alex can be full on. But she’s like that with everyone. I’m sorry for how she spoke to you.” Ashley had tucked her hands into her shirt pockets while leaning against the shelving. Her stance looked so relaxed, but her eyes once again were fierce making them look more brown than green.

  Leaning on the brush to help with the weakness in my legs gave me back some strength.

  “It’s not your fault. I’m just… not good with confrontation.”

  She nodded like she got it, but there was no way she could understand what I was saying, and I wasn’t going to enlighten her about my childhood from hell.

  “Lucas and Sam are my brothers, and they wouldn’t hurt a fly. Idiots, but they wouldn’t hurt anyone.” Ashley stood up now with a goofy smile on her face. She loved her brothers, it was evident.

  “Do you have any brother or sisters?” It was a simple question that people asked each other. For me, it was one of the hardest.

  My stomach tightened, and I pushed the brush forward as if to sweep. If I said I did, she would ask more questions. If I said I didn’t, I felt like I was hiding Jared, Riley, and Nelson. My throat dried up now thinking of Nelson, my pulse spiked.

  The bell of the shop dinged, and Ashley left to deal with the customer while I thanked whoever it was that walked in.

  ‘Saved by the bell’ had a whole new meaning to me now.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The drive home was haunting. Memories of Bert’s anger and violence resurfaced. I pushed his face away while fighting the tears. Five years of therapy, then one insult from a pretty girl sent me into a tailspin. The court case and the news of Nelson was the real reason, but it always takes that one small thing to tip a person over the edge: the tip of the iceberg, the icing on the cake, the final straw, or my favorite, the straw that broke the camel’s back. That was one of Evelyn’s favorites. I smiled now thinking about her saying it; she had been so serious, and it made me laugh so hard that I nearly peed myself.

  I was home quicker than I expected. By the time I walked into the house, exhaustion pulled heavily on my shoulders. I took a deep calming breath before going to the kitchen. Evelyn took off her reading glasses and glanced up at me. She had so many questions burning in her eyes. Her khakis and loose cotton blouse made her look like she belonged on a beach, not in a kitchen reading some thriller.

  “So, how was your first day?” she asked, as I got myself a glass of water. My throat had utterly dried up. Once I downed the drink, I turned to her and smiled.

  “Interesting.” That was the best I could do, but as Evelyn continued to look at me, small butterflies started to erupt in my stomach.

  “I’m just tired. Honestly, it was a supermarket. So, I worked.”

  Evelyn tilted her head before she smiled. “Good. That’s really good, Layla.”

  Lowering my gaze, I fidgeted with my bag that I still held. Placing it on the counter, I glanc
ed at Evelyn and nodded. “Thanks. I’m going to grab a shower. Before dinner.” Evelyn smiled again, and I took the opportunity to leave without any further questioning.

  “Layla.” I stopped at the door, glancing back at Evelyn. “I’m so proud of you.”

  I inhaled deeply, and a weird feeling squeezed me. I found myself standing a little straighter as Evelyn beamed at me. “Thank you.” The words were low, but from her smile and nod, I knew she had heard me.

  Carl and Evelyn hadn’t wanted me to take the job. They both had jobs lined up for me for the summer, an intern with Carl and a receptionist with Evelyn. Either position would have been great options, but I wanted to get a job by myself. One that didn’t rely on them. They had done so much for me already, and I just wanted to pay them back in some small way. My wages would have come from them so it would have felt like their money.

  The job wasn’t ideal. It was in the next town over and only minimum wage. But I didn’t have any previous experience, and nowhere close to home would take me on, so I had to start looking outside our small town. When I got the call to say I had the job, neither Carl nor Evelyn was happy, but they forced a smile for me.

  The spray of the water helped my aching shoulders. Lathering my hair, I tried not to think about the day I just had, but I couldn’t stop it. Ruminating was something Evelyn warned me about.

  “Three positive things,” I said while taking water into my mouth that nearly caused me to choke. I moved my head out of the spray and let it hit my back so I could speak without drowning.

  “I survived my first day. Ashley seemed nice.” I hesitated, trying to search for a third positive. “I didn’t look hideous in my uniform.” I let my head go back under the spray and conditioned my hair. Red was actually one of the best colors on me, so the red shirt that I had to wear at Shelly’s Mini Supermarket was fine.

  I felt better when I left the bathroom and went into my adjoining bedroom. The carpet under my feet always made me sigh with contentment. The full-size bed took up most of the room, and my desk sat neatly under the window that overlooked the front garden. The best thing about the room was the walk-in closet. I flicked the light on and pulled out a clean pair of PJ’s.

  Once dressed, I faced the mirror to brush out my hair. Even wet, it still looked light, and the strands reached my waist. Since it was so fine, I could let it dry naturally, and it took no time at all. I looked so different from most of the people in my neighborhood. A lot were Hispanic, so with my complexion, blue eyes and small features, I stood out. I hated it. Dropping the brush on the dresser, I left my room and went downstairs. Evelyn was rereading her thriller, but she took off her glasses and put her book down to get my dinner for me.

  “I’ll do it. Go read your book.” Her eyes widened with surprise. She didn’t question me but put her glasses back on and started to read again. She was such a bookworm, she devoured up to three books a week. I placed my dinner in the microwave and grabbed a soda before sitting down at the table. As soon as I got seated, my phone dinged. It was Morgan.

  How was your first day in kill central?

  I rolled my eyes while my fingers quickly glided across the letters.

  Great. No one died.

  I turned the phone upside down as I ate my dinner; the click of the soda can was the loudest sound in the quiet house. My phone dinged again, and I ignored it so I could focus on my food.

  “Who’s that texting you?” Evelyn looked at me over her glasses. Her glee at me texting someone had me picking up the phone.

  “Oh, it’s Morgan.” I forced a smile while looking at Morgan’s message.

  How boring. Want to go out tonight?

  I would have rolled my eyes, except Evelyn was still looking at me. Like always, I didn’t want to disappoint her. It had been months since I last went out with Morgan, so it was overdue.

  “She’s such a lovely girl.”

  “Yeah, we’re going out tonight.” Evelyn tried to tone back the dial on her sunshine, which beamed at me. But it still was way too strong.

  “Great. No curfew; you just go out and enjoy yourself.” Evelyn picked her book back up before she said any more. Her excitement was evident in her lack of parenting skills. But I wasn’t like most girls my age. I never drank, and I always came home early.

  Yeah, where too? I reluctantly answered Morgan’s text.

  Just be ready at nine

  I placed the phone back on the table while pushing my food around the plate, my appetite gone.

  Morgan didn’t arrive until nine thirty. I grabbed my bag and raced from the house while Evelyn stood at the door waving me off. I could see the girls snigger in the back of the car as I approached. I had met Morgan’s friends once or twice but always forgot their names.

  “In the front seat, L,” Morgan had pushed her window down and waved at Evelyn. The use of my nickname was only in front of the grownups otherwise she didn’t pay me much attention. I think her mother forced her to bring me. On more than one occasion, when Morgan’s friends were drunk, they let it slip that Morgan’s mom made her invite me. So, her friendship with me was just one more lie. I gave one final glance to Evelyn before climbing into the car.

  “Let’s go.” I snapped my seatbelt into place, and Morgan beeped the horn as she drove away. I was so underdressed, but I always was. Morgan looked presentable from the window, her red dress had a high neck with long sleeves, but it cut off barely covering her behind. Her long tanned legs went on forever. My skinny black jeans and a green blouse looked so bland and ugly compared to these girls. Both her friends were dressed to kill in halter dresses.

  “So where are we going?” I asked as Morgan pumped up the music, the thump of the beat penetrated the dashboard. Crossing my arms, I tried not to fidget or look behind me as the girls in the back whispered and giggled. The smell of cigarettes lingered in the car, the scent making my queasy stomach more unsettled.

  “Sandsford. A guy I know is friends with a guy who lives there.” Morgan looked at me for the first time, the flick of her gaze across my outfit was done with raised eyebrows.

  Shifting in my seat, I turned more towards Morgan. At that angle, I could slightly see one of the girls in the back. Our eyes clashed, and she winked at me. The car felt too warm suddenly, and I stopped myself from opening the top button of my blouse.

  “I have a curfew, Morgan,” I lied. Sandsford was where I just got my job. It was one thing going there to work during the daylight hours, but another thing to go there at night. Her vagueness on where the party was caused tightness in my chest.

  More sniggers erupted from the back; Morgan glanced at her friends in the mirror with narrowed eyes. “I’ll have you back in time. Relax, Lola,” Morgan replied.

  Wow!

  “My name is Layla,” I said through gritted teeth. I sat back and faced the window this time. Morgan muttered a sorry. The streetlights soon fizzled out as we left our small town and made the short journey to Sandsford.

  “OMG. Les just texted…” The music was switched off, and Morgan bounced in her seat, glancing from the mirror to the road.

  “What did she say?”

  “Mindy is drunk, and she kissed Deco.” Morgan inhaled a sharp breath while both girls squealed in the back with excitement. I didn’t know who Mindy or Deco was. All I wanted was for this night to be over, so I could go home and climb into bed and tick off this outing. I wouldn’t have to do this again for three more months. I told myself that was the silver lining.

  “What a tramp!” Bonita said, tilting my seat slightly as she pulled herself forward. “I mean, she was only with Kieran, like, last week.”

  Morgan inhaled deeply again at the scandal. I hid my grin as I looked out the window. “Oh, I thought he was seeing you, Bea?” Silence filled the car as the tension grew. Finally, Bea laughed. “No, I dumped him like, ages ago. No. Me and Kieran are like history. From like really far back, so far…”

  Well, that wasn’t transparent or anything. Morgan and Bonita overloo
ked Bea’s hurt and lies. They started slashing Mandy, or was it Mindy, instead? The poor girl really took a bashing.

  The house we pulled up to didn’t look like one that was hosting a party. From the road, no lights shone from any of the front windows. Morgan turned down the music as she pulled in along the curb.

  “Is this it?” Bea spoke up from the back. I glanced at Morgan, curious too. Maybe I would get lucky, and the party was called off. She was scrolling through her phone.

  “Does it say number six?” I waited for one of her friends to check.

  “Layla!” Morgan poked my leg.

  “Sorry, I didn’t think you were talking to me.” I looked at the number hanging beside the door. Yep, the gold number said six. I relayed this, and we all climbed out of the car. My stomach churned, and I clutched my bag.

  As Bea and Bonita climbed out of the back of the car, I got my first proper look at them. They looked like hookers.

  “Morgan are you sure?” I had a bad feeling about this place. The girls giggled behind me while linking arms with each other.

  The top button of my blouse was opened, and Morgan unbuttoned two more before trying to wrestle my bag from me.

  “You look like a granny. Give me the bag,” she snarled at me as I wouldn’t let it go.

  “Better than looking like a hooker,” I said it before I could think. Bea took in a sharp breath. Morgan stood back, and shame burned my face. I shouldn’t have said that.

  “You're just jealous,” Morgan seethed.

  “I’m sorry, Morgan. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “I’m freezing, can we go inside now?” Bea jumped up and down in her tiny dress, her boobs almost pouring out of her dress. I didn’t want to go inside but standing outside on a dark night in the middle of a road wasn’t the brightest.

  Morgan gave my bag one final look before clicking her fingers. “Let’s do this, bitches,” I fell into place behind them. A shiver crawled up my back and prickled my neck.