All of Me Page 5

  “Come here.” I hung my head, letting my hair cover my face as I made my way to Bert. His friend’s eyes followed me as I crossed the room. “Get up here.” He patted his knee like I knew he would, and I didn’t hesitate but sat up, my legs touching the ground. I focused on Ronnie’s black boots. They reminded of something from Hocus Pocus, the toes curled up at the ends. She would fit in perfectly with a bunch of witches. Her large frame and constant laugh made people see her as harmless and jolly, but behind the smile was a witch. One who didn’t like children, just the money she got for them.

  “Sing a song for Richard.” Bert’s breath brushed my hair, the alcohol fumes from his breath enough to make me look away. I flicked a glance up at Richard who leered at me. My skin crawled.

  “Sing ‘As She Moves Through the Fair.’” I didn’t want to, but I knew better than to say no to Bert. In front of his friends, he wouldn’t hit me, but he would humiliate me and after he would hurt me. Closing my eyes, I pictured my favorite person in the world. The one who I wished was here right now. If he were, he would have stopped this. One eye opened, taking a quick look at all the horrible faces, none of them Jared.

  “Don’t drag it out,” Ronnie said, her eyes narrowed. She hated any attention that Bert gave us. Her jealousy was unfounded, but she justified it somehow in her twisted mind.

  “Shut your mouth.” I curled in as much as I could as Bert shouted at Ronnie, my heart picking up the pace.

  “Sing!” He barked, and I closed my eyes and pictured Jared while I sang. The room was silent until I sang the final note. I opened my eyes, and everyone clapped.

  “Fucking brilliant, isn’t she?” Bert slurred his words, his praise made me never want to sing again. He took the good out of everything. But it was my own fault. I should have never allowed him to hear. I had thought the house was empty as I cleaned but he was there listening, and now this was my punishment every time his drunken friends came over.

  “Off to bed with you. You’ve school in the morning.” Ronnie spoke then and took a deep gulp of her can. I didn’t move until Bert bobbed his knee that was permission to leave. I left with my hair hanging in my face.

  “You’re good people taking in a retarded kid,” Richard spoke before I was out of the room. My face burned. “But she can sing,” he added.

  I took the stairs two at a time. The green carpet was worn down, the small red flowers that once were vibrant were now faded. I entered my room quietly. Two singles faced me, both covered with the same patchwork cover. Riley was asleep in bed long before me. Her long brown hair splayed across her pillow. She was four years younger and didn’t really speak. She went under the radar in the house, and it didn’t annoy me. I was jealous of how invisible she could become. Maybe one day I would too.

  Taking off my clothes I hung them on the large wicker chair at the end of the bed before taking my nightdress out from under my pillow. Getting dressed, I slipped into bed, the cold sheet a welcomed sensation on my still burning skin. Pulling Jared's sweater out from under the pillow, I closed my eyes and said my prayers thanking God for Morgan, Nelson, and Jared. I prayed that I would find a better home, maybe somewhere with trees. I loved trees. With that thought, I fell asleep and dreamt of wild forests and running through long grass, while the smell of Jared made me feel safe.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Work came too quick but not quick enough. I had read that one message so many times.

  See you tom J

  I was going to see him today. I was going to see Jared again today.

  I squeezed my eyes shut.

  This was real.

  I shook my hands out as I entered work, trying to relax. Once I made it all the way to the back without seeing Jared, my shoulders slumped as a bitter smile moved my lips. He wasn’t going to show.

  Placing my bag in my locker, I told myself I was overreacting and needed to calm down. It was nine in the morning; he wasn’t going to be waiting for me like a welcome committee outside.

  “Morning.” I jumped while slamming my locker door.

  Ashley held up her hands at my reaction. “Wow. Jumpy, are we?” she questioned while dropping her hands and placing her bag and jacket in her locker.

  Yep. I needed to relax. Five minutes in and already I was acting like a nut job. “Sorry. I didn’t sleep well.” I said honestly. The large dark circles under my eyes were my evidence. I followed Ashley out onto the floor. My eyes darted around the shop looking for the large frame of Jared, but no one was here.

  “So… Yesterday?” Ashley made her way to the register where she removed a clipboard with today’s jobs on it. I was grateful she had her back to me as a flush crept across my cheeks.

  “Yeah…. That was awkward.” I blurted out.

  Ashley turned back to me, her eyebrows raised. “That’s an understatement.” My toes curled in my shoes as the top of my ears burned. “How do you know Mr. Garcia’s son?” Ashley narrowed her eyes slightly, her lips pursed as she hugged the clipboard to her chest while waiting for my answer.

  My eyes widened. “Jared is Mr. Garcia’s son?” A bark of laughter escaped my lips.

  What were the odds?

  Ashley’s eyes narrowed a little more. “You really didn’t know?”

  “No, I know Jared from a few years back. We both lived in the same foster home.” It was hard using the word home. A shelter with abusive people who damaged young children would have been more appropriate.

  “Yeah, I heard he had been in foster care. Mr. Garcia spent the last few years looking for him. Spent a fortune doing it, too.”

  A heaviness settled on my chest. Jared had a real father, who searched for him. But that left the question of how he ended up in foster care in the first place.

  “What about his mom?” I asked.

  Ashley’s hands tightened on the clipboard, her stance more ridged now.

  “She got pregnant with Jared, never told Mr. Garcia. She left Sandsford and gave him away. She only returned like, six years ago, and confessed all. Mr. Garcia was heartbroken.” My stomach sank, not just for Jared, but his dad, too.

  What was wrong with people?

  Now Ashley smiled, her stance relaxing. “But he found him five years ago and moved him here."

  The bell over the door rang, and we both turned at the same time. A fluttering started in my belly, wondering if it was Jared.

  Alex stood in the doorway. Alone. Her eyes were fixed on me. Her hair flowed down her back in thick black waves. The cut-offs she wore showcased a pair of long tanned legs. She wore deep red lipstick like she had the first day I met her.

  “Alex,” the warning in Ashley’s voice had me wanting to run.

  “I’m only here to say hi and introduce myself properly to Layla.” She glanced at me now, her eyes were hard even as she smiled.

  “I’m Alex. Jared’s girlfriend.” My chest tightened. She was beautiful, and they were perfect for each other. A stunning couple.

  “Nice to meet you.” I managed to it say back without sounding as breathless as I felt.

  “He told me all the shit you went through.” A wash of dizziness made me reach out for the desk that I stood beside. I nodded my head.

  “I get it. You’re his little sister. I’m cool with that.” I nodded again.

  “Great,” I managed to squeak out.

  Alex narrowed her eyes at me. “Are you being smart with me?” Those red lips sat in a thin, angry line now.

  “Alex. She’s not being smart. Leave her alone.” Ashley stood in front of me. “We have work to do,” she told her cousin before turning to me. “You need to check the inventory out in the back.” She raised both eyebrows while nodding to the back door, telling me to go now, and I did without looking back.

  Slumping against the wall once I was out of sight, I let my rattled heart settle.

  Jared had found his family after all. I wish his mother hadn’t lied and he would have always been happy. But then I would have had no one. Would I have survived? I pus
hed off the wall. Ruminating wasn’t allowed, number one rule from Evelyn.

  The job of counting the entire inventory in the stock room was mind-numbing, but also what I needed. It took me all the way to lunch time.

  “Are you hiding from me?” At the sound of Jared’s voice, my heart threatened to come right out of my chest. The first thing I noticed was his slightly damp hair as if he had just showered. The second was the brown paper bag in his hand. The large silver watch caught the lights, getting my attention for a moment before my eyes traveled across his green t-shirt that stretched across his wide chest. The faded jeans he wore hugged his legs.

  “No,” I sounded so breathless. A grin pulled at his lips. “I’m working,” I added feeling like a fool.

  He held up the brown bag. “I brought you lunch.”

  A smile grew on my own lips. “Okay, then. I’ll just let Ashley know.”

  His eyes never left mine, his grin growing. “I already told her.”

  I followed him outside and into the sun. A few benches I hadn’t noticed before sat under several umbrellas.

  “Sit here. I’ll be right back.” Jared left the brown bag on the table before striding across the lot. I watched him, taking in his large strides as he entered the small diner. Dee’s in bold yellow flashed above the door.

  I looked around me waiting for Alex to pop up, but no one did. Jared emerged from the shop holding two takeaway cups. His gaze was glued to me, and I felt thrown from all his attention, so I opened the brown paper sack.

  “Peanut butter sandwich. Your favorite.” He said it so off-handedly. But it squeezed my heart.

  “You made this?” I asked while taking the sandwich out. He slid me one of the takeaway cups. Taking a sip of the tea, I smiled at him over the rim.

  “Yes. You always wanted one before bedtime.” Our gazes met, and a thousand memories appeared.

  I swallowed the lump as he held my stare. “Eat up,” he finally said, and I stuffed half the sandwich in my mouth. Laughter from him sounded so foreign yet so familiar.

  “No one is going to take it from you.” He took a bite out of his own sandwich, and I watched his mouth work. It was hard to believe this was Jared. We ate until crumbs were the only evidence left of our sandwiches. I had so many questions, but now being alone with him, I didn’t know which ones to ask.

  He took a gulp of his own tea before taking the brown bag in his hands and crumbling it up. I watched his large hands tighten around it.

  “I want to know everything,” he said, and our gazes crashed again, this time my heart stalled before galloping.

  Jared rested his chin in his hand, two fingers covering his mouth. The intensity in his eyes burned my soul. I swallowed all the emotions and cleared my throat. I wasn’t ready to relive that night, but looking at the tension in Jared’s shoulders or how still he was, I knew this was important to him.

  “I was taken straight to the hospital.” My voice sounded so weak, and I cleared my throat again. One hand reached across the table taking mine. I was frozen solid momentarily before warmth rushed through my body and thawed it. Staring at his tanned hand entwined with my small pale one had me distracted. A part of me knew us holding hands wasn’t right, not when Jared had a girlfriend. But maybe this was normal, and I was making a big deal out of nothing. Yet I didn’t pull my hand away.

  “My throat was pretty damaged.” Looking up at Jared, my heart jumped with how he was looking at me. His brows furrowed, his hand still covering his mouth but tighter.

  “I’m so sorry.” His voice was soft, which didn’t match the hardness in his structure right now. I was shaking my head as he spoke the words.

  “You saved me,” I said, squeezing the hand that still held mine. His thumb moved in a circular motion, and he closed his eyes letting out a breath. My stomach jumped about from each small touch.

  Get a grip.

  Jared finally opened his eyes. “Keep going.” He didn’t sound sure, but a soft tug of my arm had me nodding.

  “I also had a fractured leg from the fall. But the worst -” I paused while taking a sip of my tea. Why was this so hard?

  “You can tell me.” Jared’s voice seemed deeper now, his low words had me glancing at him.

  “They had to re-break two previous breaks that never set correctly.” Jared’s nostrils flared, and he let my hand go.

  Heat burned my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I said quickly, while he rubbed his face. At my words, his head shot up.

  “I’m not mad at you, Layla.” God, why did he sound so angry then?

  He was beside me before I could blink. My heart started to race as he slid in beside me, his arm going around my waist. The position was so intimate.

  “I’m mad because I should have reported it a long time ago. I should have stopped it.” He ducked his head, not allowing me to see his face, his forehead so close to mine.

  “Jared. Look at me.” He did, and my stomach twisted, but I focused. “You were just a child, just like me. Please, it hurts my heart to see you blame yourself.” My phrase ‘hurts my heart’ got a smile out of him, and I knew it would. I used to tell him this all the time if he wouldn’t dance with me, or read me a bedtime story. It was the line that got him every time. He took my hand once again.

  “What happened next?”

  “They got a counselor for me, Evelyn. She spent weeks listening to me and finally let me meet her husband, Carl. They took me in.” I was smiling now at the memory of that moment when Evelyn told me she was taking me home. HOME was so foreign to me, but I could tell that this time, things would be different, and they were.

  Jared’s dimples were out now in full force as he smiled at me. My chest tightened, and I had to look away.

  “I asked for you… but no one knew anything ...” Looking up at Jared, I could see my own pain reflected in his eyes. Suddenly, I was in his arms. My head rested against his chest. The pounding of his heart filled my ear.

  No words were spoken between us as we held each other. It was a past that didn’t deserve a place in the future, yet it seemed to have wormed its way in after being buried for five years.

  Jared pulled back, the loss of his arms and warmth had me looking up at him. He was staring at something behind me. Turning around, I got an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “Well, Bro.” Chester gave me a fleeting glance before moving around to Jared. My heart palpitated. “What’s going on?”

  Jared nodded before hitting Chester’s outstretched hands. First slap, back slap, then bumping fists.

  What the hell?

  “Nothing much, just catching up with Layla, an old friend.” This time Chester looked at me while raising his head.

  “What’s up?”

  My mind faltered. What’s up? My mouth was dry as I forced myself not to get up and run. I just nodded back.

  “Chester is a great friend,” Jared said, and I crumbled internally. “He’s been there for me.” They bumped fists again.

  “You got my back, I got yours,” Chester spoke, his glance flickering to me again, and I forced a smile for Jared.

  A car pulled into the parking lot, and I could see Lucas’ profile from the passenger side, someone else was in the back, a female, and most likely Alex.

  Picking up my to-go cup and the brown paper bag, I tried to focus.

  “I better get back to work.” I finally looked at Jared, to find him studying me.

  “Can I see you after your shift?” I rubbed the back of my neck.

  “Hmm…” I didn’t know what to say. A car door slammed, then another and another. I needed to leave.

  “I’ll text you,” I said, choosing the safest option.

  Jared leaned forward, clasping his hands together, his gaze intense. “You better.” I grinned, not able to help myself. He was still the same overprotective, overbearing Jared I had always known.

  “I will,” I said. Approaching footsteps had me tightening my hands on my litter as I t
urned.

  “Nice meeting you, Layla.” Chester’s voice had my shoulders curling in on myself. But for Jared, I looked back. “You too,” I said.

  Ashley took her lunch once I returned. She didn’t say anything about me having lunch with Jared, so neither did I. My nerves were shot, and I had no idea how I felt about all of this. When we were younger, Jared held my hand as we walked to the shops or to go to his hangout spot with the guys. I never thought anything of his nearness to me, but now that we were older, it felt different.

  After work, I found myself sitting in my car, staring at my phone.

  This was Jared, I reminded myself. So why was I having such a hard time with my feelings towards him? My mind seemed to race at a million miles an hour. How could anyone produce so many different emotions in someone?

  The ding of my phone sent my heart racing. I clicked it open, and my body stilled. It was from Jared.

  Why are you sitting in your car?

  I glanced around me. He leaned against his jeep, with his hands deep in his pockets. His eyes clashed with mine, and I shivered. It had nothing to do with the weather. He didn’t move a muscle.

  My fingers moved quickly over my phone.

  I’m thinking, I typed quickly before looking at him in the rear-view mirror. He had his phone out, typing, and my stomach tightened.

  About what? His response was one I expected. My answer and decision already made. I was weak then. I was strong now.

  You. I watched Jared as I hit send. His brows flew up, and he glanced up at me from under thick dark lashes. Stuffing his phone in his pocket, he jogged over to my car.

  I peeled my hands off the steering wheel and unlocked the passenger door to let him in.

  The smell of his cologne immediately filled the small space. He shifted, taking his phone out and sitting it on the dash before twisting his body so he could face me.